The Fic Journal of Kats_Meow

Fred pulled down the street to the company’s parking lot and met the kickstand of a motorcycle policeman. She saw the entire block around the WRH law offices surrounded by what looked like black SWAT vans and matching black-uniformed military with shoulder rifles and helmets. Wooden sawhorses barricaded the entrances. The private security team was on full red alert.

“Oh, crap!” she exclaimed out her open window.

The cop smiled at her. “No problem, miss. Just a minor gas leak, but they’re taking all necessary precautions. I’ll need to check your company badge, then I’ll escort you to the temporary parking facility.”

Fred’s stomach sank. Her problems were just beginning. No doubt they’d found the amulet missing. To make things worse, she’d forgotten to recharge her cell phone and left the house before calling Angel. All she could do was run.

She burst into Angel’s office and he put down the receiver of the phone. “Thank God. You scared us all to death. There’s been a security breach. The amulet is missing. We went into the lab this morning…no amulet, no you, no answer at your apartment. We were frantic.”

“Thank you,” she beamed, momentarily forgetting that she was the cause of his distress.

“What’s going on with you?” he frowned. “You were probably the last one here. Any ideas?”

“Uh, yup.”

“Care to share?”

“Me. I took it home last night.”

“You. You did what?” He tried to control his anger. “So that means…Did Spike come home with you, too?”

“Well. Yes. But before you go all post office on me…-”

“Postal,” he corrected, rubbing his brow.

“Whatever. Let me show you the data.” She turned from him and opened her backpack, pulled out a yellow legal pad full of notes.

“Fred, I don’t want data…-”

She scanned over the notebook and flipped pages. “My theory is this. Here’s this hugely powerful amulet that saved the world and fell out of the sky and now it sits there? Dormant? I think that something about this place is holding back its magic. I figured the best way to test the hypothesis would be on neutral ground.” She looked up expectantly.

Angel drummed his fingers on the office table. “This idea came to you after weeks of research but last night out of the blue you decide, ‘Tonight’s the night I act on that hypothesis’?”

Her cheeks burned with embarrassment. “It didn’t happen like that, I—…”

“I’ll bet it didn’t. In fact, I’ll bet it isn’t even your idea. You were conned. This isn’t like you. I’m beginning to think it’s the company you’re keeping.”

“What isn’t like me? Me having an original thought once in awhile?

“To be so irresponsible!”

“Well, you’re not the one who knows me anymore!” she shot back.

His lips parted open for a moment in pained surprise.

“I meant to say, you’re not the only one who knows me any more,” she amended.

“I think you said it exactly how you meant it,” he replied quietly. “So what do you want from me? It looks like your mind is made up.”

Fred could feel the chasm between them. How could she ever get back to where they had been?

“Buy me a little time with the guys so they don’t wig out on me? Let them know that you’re behind me on this?”

“But I’m not.”

“So lie,” she blurted, feeling the tears start. She took a deep breath to regain control. “They’ll believe you if you tell them you trust me.”

Angel grazed his palms on the edge of his desk. “I do trust you, I don’t trust him.”

“I trust anyone who’s saved my life. Isn’t that what we’re about, not you carrying me over your shoulder every time, but me saving you back. Because that’s what you do for someone you—”

“Do not say love. Not about Spike,” he warned.

Angel looked into the face that he had adored for so long, partly because it could never deceive him. It didn’t now. She remained quiet.

“No. No, no, no. This can’t be happening. Do not tell me you love him. I will smash that amulet to bits if that’s what it takes to keep you away from him. He is playing you and you!” he slammed his hand on the desk. “You are letting him pluck you string by string. When I think of all the souls he’s destroyed…-”

“But you want to destroy his soul, because you have a grudge? Angel, there are all kinds of love, if you want to call it that, like yours for me. You gave me a chance. You brought me back here to make a difference, no matter what the others said about me.”

“You were never evil just…-”

“Nuts? Loony? Crazy taco lady?”

“I was going to say traumatized. I knew you had goodness inside of you. I’ve known Spike for over a century and,…my jury’s still out.”

At that moment, Lorne breezed through into the office without knocking.

“So peanuts, the official word on the street is ‘sewer gas leak,’ say it with me now? I know, not very glamorous, but like I always tell my chorus line, there are no small parts, just the tiny actors who play them.” He caught sight of their stony expressions and realized his interruption. “Brr, who opened the ole deep freeze in here? Let me go dig out an extra pair of mittens ‘cause whew baby it is cold inside!”

“That’s OK, I was just leaving,” Fred mumbled, turning to zip up her backpack.

“You can pull the plug on today’s PR machine, Lorne. We’ve found the amulet. Meet our security breach.” Angel opened his palms in her direction.

Lorne’s mouth gaped open. “Shame, sticky fingers! You had me fooled the whole time. This would’ve made a great ‘Law and Order’ ep.”

“I have to go, I’ll see you later,” she said quietly, looking up at Angel and filled with disappointment.

Lorne glanced from Fred to Angel and back again. “Later in the, ‘catch you later at the water cooler’ later, or the, ‘I’ll let you buy me a drink later much later,’ later?”

“Go on. Tell him,” Angel prompted her.

“I’m taking a sabbatical, to work on the amulet at home,” she told Lorne.

“With Spike, don’t forget to mention that part,” Angel added.

Lorne cocked a finger at him like a pistol. “And you’re going for this idea ‘cause it’s brimming with oodles of tasty sense?”

Angel didn’t take his eyes off Fred. “I trust her. She made a decision and I respect that. It was a hard decision to make. And she knows where to find me instantly should this backfire.”

Her eyes widened and misted. Thank you, she mouthed.

Angel came from behind the desk and took her hand. “I run this firm, but I don’t run your friends. I can’t stop them from calling, visiting, camping outside your door, begging you to give up this crackpot scheme. I’ll tell them to give you some space for a few days, but I can’t hold them off forever. We worry about you. It’s what we do. For someone we love.”

The quick morning she’d planned to spend at work dragged through the better part of the day. Her lab associates were touchingly concerned and shocked to hear that she was taking a leave of absence and had many questions for how their various projects should continue – Knox especially.

“What do I do if someone asks me about M theory?” he asked miserably. “I’ll think they’re talking about chocolate covered candies.”

“No you won’t,” she reassured him. “You’ll tell them that ‘it’s the unknown eleven-dimensional theory whose low energy limit is the supergravity theory in eleven dimensions.’ Or ‘the unknown theory believed to be the fundamental theory from which the known superstring theories emerge as special limits.’ Or call me. I’ll give you my number.”

“Can I call you, even if it isn’t about space-time dimensions? What if it’s about going out for coffee?”

Fred caught her breath. “I don’t know how much time I’ll have for goofing off, I’ll still be working.” She jotted her number on a post-it and handed it to him.

“I thought we were friends. Or at least on our way there,” he said wistfully.

“Knox,” she said. “I kind of need to take a break from the lab for a while. This has all gotten to be a lot for me, you know?”

“I hear you,” he said. “That ghost, Spike? He has not let up on you. If you want, I could figure out some kind of containment mechanism.”

“No,” she answered. “That’s sweet of you to offer, but he’s held back from so much as it is. Containing whatever matter he has left would be cruel.”

“I wasn’t talking about his matter,” Knox said lowly. “I was talking about his mouth.”

Fred laughed. “I don’t think he’s going to be bothering the lab that much any more.”

Knox gave her a searching look. “You’ve figured something out, haven’t you?”

“I gotta go,” she said without answering his question. “Good luck.”

She marched out of the lab and straight into Wesley.

“Thank God, I thought I’d missed you. Angel tells me something about you taking the amulet because you think its magic is being blocked, and then I overhear one of the scientists saying that you’re having a nervous breakdown. Whereas Harmony is under the impression you’re suffering from chronic migraines.”

“Wes, hi, um, listen to Angel, OK?” She linked arms with him and pulled him away from the lab entrance. “Walk with me. I’m trying to confuse the rumor mill. I don’t want any of the other divisions to know too much about what I’m doing.”

He stopped her and dropped her arm. “Is that what I am? Another one of the divisions?”

“No, of course not. But at this point, all I have is an untested hypothesis. And you know how I feel about those,” she poked him lightly with the end of her pen cap in an attempt to joke.

“The description I believe you’ve used is that they ‘totally suck,’” he said morosely. “But why didn’t you talk to me about this first? You’ve made a rash decision. I can find another way and get you out of doing this.”

Fred tapped her pen between her fingers, filled with irrational irritation. “I’m pretty much good with this way,” she said coolly. “If you see Charles, would you tell him to call me if he has any questions? He’s in court all day.”

Wesley’s expression of concern hardened. “I wish you the best,” he said stiffly. “But I’d like to note for the record that your experiment fails from the worst sort of harebrained logic.”

“I’ll make a note of that,” she sighed as she continued walking down the hall. “Thanks.”

Before leaving for the day, Fred paid a quick visit to Cordelia’s bedside, where her friend remained comatose and still. “You picked a great time to be unconscious,”Fred thought aloud. She tried to think what chain of events caused Cordy’s condition, how long she had been this way, but Fred’s mind went blank. She thought she recalled something about a hold-up at a store; some disturbed young man taking hostages, but the thought slipped away from her and a piercing headache took its place. Feeling her exhaustion, Fred chalked her poor memory up to hunger and sleepiness. By early evening, Fred reached her home at last and shut the door. She leaned back into it with a sigh of relief. For once, her apartment felt like the safe haven all homes should be.

Spike peeked his head around the corner. “Finally!” he shouted.

Fred put her hands up. “Spike please,” she said. “I’ve had a bad day to like, the tenth power.”

He relaxed into tenderness. “I’ll take for granted that lingo means extreme. In that case, may I be the first to welcome you home.”

“That’s it?” She said in surprise. “No jokes? No jabs?”

“Kick a bird when she’s down? Not my style,” he smiled. “Well. Not anymore. I’m going to disappear for a bit, pet, leave you to your leisure.”

She wondered what kind of mischief he could accomplish outside of her presence. “Please don’t go all poltergeist on my neighbors,” she pleaded. “They’re nice people and they have to get up early.”

“No worries.” He disappeared; the one time he showed a side of himself that made her yearn for him to stay, and he left. Men, she thought helplessly and grabbed the Szechwan Garden’s delivery menu.

Fred awoke stiff and sore from a night on the sofa. Chinese takeout containers littered the coffee table. As she rose, she felt a blanket slip from her shoulders. She padded to her desk in bare feet and picked up the amulet. No change.

“What’s first, pet? You’ve a whole box of gadgets from the lab; you must be itching to try them out with your own personal guinea pig. I’m ready to let the healing begin,” Spike said clapping his hands together.

“You know, I should tell you,” she frowned. “This might be some new kind of stupid for me.”

“What is?”

Fred slumped into her desk chair in disappointment. “OK, here goes. I do believe that the law offices are blocking whatever magic the amulet might have left. And I also believe that sooner or later, the amulet’s going to change and likewise change you.”

“‘Sooner or later?’” Spike echoed.

“Yeah,” she said warily, trying to gauge his reaction. “Other than that, I have no plan. No lab reports to write, no metaphysical experiments to run. Nothing.”

“So your scientific method includes lying about, ordering stir-fry noodles, and… waiting?”

“Uh-huh,” she answered bleakly. Her face brightened. “But I’m really good at waiting. I waited five years for Angel to save me from Pylea. You’ve got the head of the science department here on waiting. I’ve earned all the credits for a PhD in patience.”

“I trust you, pet, I trust you. No need to strike up the bandwagon for me. I’m already on board.”

Their eyes met and she saw the determined set of his jaw: strong, handsome, and even a little dangerous. Spike’s unwavering confidence in Fred assured her that she was on the right path.

“That means a lot, Spike,” she said as her cheeks turned pink.

He broached the next subject carefully. “Although I am a bit foggy on the Pylea incident, your boss saving you?”

Fred looked down. “One day I’m going to mention something about my life that doesn’t include, Pylea, my great qualifier.”

“Oh, you mean like, vampire-with-a-soul?” he asked. “I know about pretext, love. Don’t feel you have to explain anything to me.”

“I want to tell you,” Fred replied, realizing that it was true. She tumbled out the story about getting sucked into a portal, living as a “cow” for five years in a hell dimension, and her triumphant rescue by Angel and company.

“They’ve seen me go through all that and they think of me as a little girl. Whenever I try to take a stand on my own, they’re right there reminding me where I came from,” she complained.

“That’s not who you are now, is it? Any fool could see that,” he told her gently, meeting her eyes again. He cleared his throat nervously. “So how did the band of merries take your news on being home bound with me? Did mass rioting ensue?”

She walked to the kitchen. “Nothing that bad, still, it wasn’t pretty. Left a really bad taste in my mouth. Come to think of it, so did that Hunan Chicken.” She took out two glasses for orange juice, and then quickly replaced one when she remembered Spike’s condition. Her rude words to Wesley replayed in her mind.

“Oh, Wesley,” she groaned, knocking her forehead with her fist. “Ugh, I forgot to apologize to him.”

Spike followed her in, looking interested. “Come again? You took a side against the second coming of Giles? Isn’t that like taking a swing at poor Friar Tuck?”

“He’s all like, ‘Why didn’t you come to me, Fred,’ like I can’t do anything without him holding my hand. And then I go, ‘well, I’m ok with what I did so nyah, nyah, nyah.’ I acted like a brat.”

Spike sat on her counter. “I think you’re entitled to a little righteous anger, pet. Wisk broom for the heart brushes out all the cobwebs proper. Of course, you know the lads only fuss over you because they care. I’m not their idea of the model houseguest, that’s for certain.”

She sipped her juice and smiled at him. “You brought my blanket out to the couch.”

“In another lifetime, you wouldn’t have lived to morning,” he countered.

She curled into one of her bistro chairs, as though she was preparing for a good story. “What was that other lifetime like? I’ve tried to ask Angel but he won’t talk about it with me.”

“Death, destruction, torture, chaos, mayhem, rape, pillage,” Spike counted off on his fingers.

“No, I mean, what was it like to live for over one hundred of the most prolific years in history? The Age of Romanticism, the Industrial Revolution, all the discoveries, the inventions, music, poetry, art. You’re living history!” she finished, awestruck.

Spike snorted. “Not living, remember? Barely existing. I hate to short-circuit your time machine love, but my lot wasn’t exactly the postcards and snapshots set. We weren’t on a sodding field trip; we were evil.” He told his own story, living as a demon, the quest for a soul, the uneasy bridge between killer and man.

“Whew,” she sighed reflectively. “I take out that whole evil part and dream about having tea with Einstein. But I know it wouldn’t happen that way. That’s the trade-off, right? To be alive forever without really living?”

He watched her in wonder. “That’s, that’s it exactly.” He snapped out of his dreamy gaze of her. “To hear you talk, mine was a waste of an afterlife. Fair enough, too. After I turned, I never took much notice of the beauties of the world, except to ruin them. Now I wish I had. It’d give us a topic until your next delivery order.” He grinned.

Fred drained her orange juice glass. “Don’t worry about it. In addition to being science gal, I’m also a history nut. I’m kind of your worst nightmare when it comes to the whole pursuit of knowledge.” She rinsed the glass in the sink.

“You’re not my nightmare,” Spike whispered. “Not in the least.”

She turned to him, smiling knowingly. “You know, Spike. While we’re having this ‘roomie- bonding’ session, I have to tell you: you don’t have to keep doing that.”

“What?” he looked aghast.

“You know, the whole, ‘Boost Fred’s Morale so she keeps on truckin’ and gets me a body,’…thing that you do.”

He jumped off the counter. “A happy worker bee makes all the more honey,” he purred. “Sweetie.”

He disappeared.

“I’m saying,” she called out into the kitchen. “We’re going to be spending a lot of time together, so…”

He reappeared behind her. “We’ve already spent a lot of time together.”

Fred turned to face him. “But here, in my apartment, it’s different. It’s…” He disappeared and then materialized behind her again.

“Intimate?”

“Spike! You’re…”

“I’m spinning you in circles. Getting dizzy?”

“Stop!”

Spike appeared in front of her, grinning mischievously. “All right then. What exactly do you want me to do? Spare no details.”

Fred pointed at him. “See, it’s that. The flirting, I mean, I guess, that’s what I’m talking about. I’m helping you; I’m on the case! You don’t need to flirt with me or entertain me.”

His face fell. “Oh, it bothers you then.”

“NO! I mean, no. It just isn’t necessary.”

He looked at her closely. “Is there someone else? A male someone, who might mind?”

“God, no,” she said, waving her hand dismissively. “My love life is all kinds of screwy. I mean, you said a nice clean dance card? Yeah, try a non-existent one. First there was Charles and I mean, that was sweet and then…-I showed him something about me that he didn’t know was there, was too much, and I disappointed him.”

Spike nodded thoughtfully, bouncing on his heels with his hands in his pockets. “I’m not thinking you killed a bowl of his fishies, love.” He watched for her reaction.

“Nope.” She lost herself in his deep blue gaze and chewed on her thumbnail, waiting for his response.

“For fuck’s sake,” Spike said sadly, realizing the depth of her meaning. “You are my kind of girl then, aren’t you.”

She jutted her jaw out bitterly. “The bastard deserved it, Professor Seidel, the one we killed. He sent me to Pylea and who knows how many other innocent kids. Charles wouldn’t help me or let me do it alone, so I went to Wesley…”

“Who was more than happy to find an opportunity to meet your darkness halfway,” Spike finished. “And help himself to you in the bargain? There’s a love story for the ages. I should know.”

She bit the inside of her lip. “But that was so long ago. I’m just full of anger at Wesley all of a sudden! Like he’s done something terrible that I can’t remember.”

“He took sides with you against your beau to make himself look good in your eyes. That doesn’t go away over night,” Spike speculated.

Fred didn’t look convinced. “Maybe. I wonder why I’m so mad and …oh, brother,” she held her head in pain as the headache returned. “I’m also getting a fusion sized migraine. That’s another one this week.” She put her hands over her closed eyes.

Spike watched her helplessly. “I think I can spirit over some aspirin?”

“No, no drugs. I’m trying to deal with these the natural way.”

“Which is the painful way. Let me do something for you, pet. What do you need?”

She squinted at him through her pain. “Take a walk with me? When’s the last time you were in the sun?”

“Oh, that’s another story for another day without a headache. But I would fancy a stroll with you on my arm.”

“Spike,” she began, but he interrupted.

“This is the only way I know how to talk to you love, so manage. No wonder you’re coming down with headaches. Figure a bird with your track record should have one bloke around who won’t make her read between the lines.”

“Thank you,” she said humbly. She looked at him kindly and the flashes of headache faded. “But tell me the story anyway?”

Spike sighed. “It all started with this ring called the Gem of Amarra…”

End of Part One

Notes: M theory definition used without permission from the Superstring Theory website.